Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Life in a Blender

Malachi 2:16 " 'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel."  Pretty plainly spoken.  Does that mean we are abandoned and without hope when we make the choice to end a marriage? Absolutely not! Does it mean that we invite struggle, strife, and challenges into our lives when we choose our way instead of His? A big fat YES!! So where does that leave us? Dependent all the more on His grace to face the obstacles in our path to a healthy family life.

As a woman who has experienced the pain of a failed marriage, the joy of a new marriage, the blessings and frustrations of being a stepmom, as well as the joys and heartaches of raising children who have been wounded by my choices and the choices of others, I am sharing my experiences for the sole purpose of building up and encouraging others who find their lives in a blender! It is not my intention to share details that may in any way cause hurt to anyone in my life (past or present). I will be gleaning wisdom, experiences, and insight from others in order to make this a worthwhile pursuit.

In a household of 9, I have the challenge of figuring out what makes everyone "tick", and believe me, there are no 2 alike! Like little snowflakes, the kids each have their own unique personality, complete with strengths, weaknesses, virtues and flaws.  Most days I find myself feeling very inadequate to meet all of their emotional and physical needs.  The laundry, for instance, is never done, my sink always has dirty dishes in it, and there is more homework than I could ever hope to check in one day. As a result, I usually feel like a total failure by lunchtime! Add to that the challenge of communicating with ex-spouses in a Godly and gracious way and meeting the needs of my husband, and you have the recipe for some pretty major meltdowns!

My eyes were recently opened to the cycle of negativity I had set in motion when in my bible study class this statement was made: "When I walk in obedience, faithfulness, and perseverance with the Lord, there is NOTHING that can stop me from accomplishing His will except ME!"  The Holy Spirit whispered in my ear that I was being my own stumbling block, as well as a stumbling block for others who depend on me. I had been trying to do it all on my own. And I was drowning in it. Lesson learned? If I do not make my relationship with Jesus my #1 priority, I am setting myself up to fail not only myself, but everyone around me. My attitude influences every person in my life. The way I live my life each day, the tone that I use with my spouse, the manner in which I deal with the kids, the relationships I have with my ex-husband, his ex-wife... ALL of it should be an OVERFLOW of my love for Christ. I have a choice to make each and every morning when my eyes open... Will I let God fill me up and love others through me? Or will I go it alone and most likely make a mess of the day? All I know is, TODAY I choose to trust His strength and power in me to accomplish what I cannot on my own.

Romans 8:26  "...the Spirit helps us in our weakness"

1 Corinthians 1:25 "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "...'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake I delight in weaknesses, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."


  1. This is so me, Kari. It's exactly how I feel most of the time - inadequate to meet everyone's emotional and physical needs. A failure. And I'm working on top of this, so I end up feeling like a failure there too - my heart and mind are with my family, but I have to have the paycheck to support them! And I'm constantly reminded that my choices have wounded the people I love most. Thanks for doing this - I look forward to reading, learning and sharing. It's nice to not feel alone :)

  2. Well, I've been waiting on your book....but a blog is good, too. You have always had so much wisdom to share no matter what situation you were in. Your honesty and transparency is humbling. Even during times that you would consider your most difficult, you have been an encouragement and an example to me--such a beautiful picture of God's desire for us to "let our lights so shine before men"....even in our valleys. Your life is a blessing to me!!

  3. My Precious Daughter, I sit here with tears streaming and a heart about to explode with thanksgiving to God for all He has done, is doing and will do in your life! Your walk with Him is so amazing and you have taught me so, so much -- our roles have reversed! I know God is going to use this in so many ways and touch hearts that are hurting and just tired -- all women fall in that category. Thank you for being obedient to God's call to share your life lessons -- can't wait to see all the blessings that will unfold! You have made me so proud and I love you more than I can express. Mom

  4. Kari,

    Thank you soo much for opening up your world and sharing with us, so we can learn from your lessons and share the frustrations and joys of this less-than-perfect life. I needed to hear this message today - thank you for being His messenger.


  5. I think this blog is a great idea for you. Not only will it help you sort out your thoughts and experiences, it will also reach out to those who are facing similar circumstances. I applaud you very much for refusing to give in to bashing or blaming. Stay on the high road or don't "go there" at all. And, keep being transparent. I'm looking forward to your next post. Connie