Looking for Miracles

What is a miracle?  Webster's defines it as "an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs."  I pray for miracles all the time.... When the mortgage isn't paid and the bank account is dry and when cancer eats away at those we love, but I ask with this doubt that says "I know He can, but I don't believe He will."  So my prayers are weak, ineffective, really just bouncing off the ceiling because of my unbelief.  It occurred to me yesterday, while wringing my hands and begging for some divine intervention that I had it backward... That God is ALWAYS working miracles in my life.    That my prayer should simply be "Open my eyes to what You are already doing."  Because truthfully, we rarely get the answers we seek when we seek rescue, or an easy way out, or relief from suffering... And this has always frustrated me, that life seems to always win out over faith.  But with a different perspective, could I begin to see the miracles all around me?  And in seeing those miracles that aren't the kind that make us wealthy or well or even comfortable, could I begin to cultivate thankfulness for even the hard things?  And wouldn't that be a miracle in itself?  Interesting thought...

I grew weary yesterday of wringing my hands in worry, so in order to fill the air (and my head) with something other than fear, I began singing to myself... "Blessed be the Name of the Lord, Blessed be the Name... You give and take away, you give and take away.."  What happened next was astonishing... I began to smile, then trying to remember the verses, I fumbled through the rest of the song with some wrong lyrics and some humming, and I realized, It's true!! Worship is the way out.  The way out of fear, the way out of worry, the way out of ME...   I have probably been told this, heard sermons on this, and frankly, I've always been one to  sing only with a full heart, not start with an empty heart to fill... Again, I just had it backward.  

I'd love to tell you that miraculously, my circumstances changed,  but you won't be surprised when I say that the only change was in me....For the moment though, it was enough.  I eventually stopped singing, and the worry and fear rushed back in, and I cried a little and got through the rest of the day and went to bed not really thinking of anything at all.  I woke up remembering, though, and seeing the miracle that I almost missed... And then taking a mental inventory of the miracles happening that don't really feel much like miracles at all... And so today, I am trying to remember to not ask for the scenery to change, but for new eyes, and while I wait for that sight I will sing... "I lift my hands to believe again, You are my refuge, You are my strength, As I pour out my heart, these things I remember, You are faithful God, forever...."