Busy. We all are, aren't we? I refuse to make to-do lists anymore, because frankly, they make me cry. If you have kids your day probably looks a lot like mine, even if you don't have 7 of them. Wake up by 6am, try and get everyone fed, clean, dressed, and out the door by 7:15, then you go to 2 or 3 (or 4) schools to drop them off, head back home, turn on Disney Jr. for the little ones and try to get a shower. Unload the dishwasher, start the laundry, clean up the make-up that 3 yr old darling got into while taking said shower. Try to get some make-up on my own face in the process. Ok, now it is 9am, I am already exhausted and ready for a nap that is definitely not going to happen. You get the idea, and I bet you can relate. But I just figured out something that kind of rocked my world.
Our women's ministry director recently gave me a book called "Weird: Because Normal Isn't Working". I started reading it and one of the first things the author talks about is being "addicted" to adrenaline. Ok, when I think of adrenaline, I think of sky diving, roller coasters, and riding in the car while my husband is driving (haha). I don't think of car lines, laundry, errands, homework and ball schedules. But as I read on, I realized that I kind of run on adrenaline ALL DAY. Every day. I can't be still, slow down, or relax because there is always the next thing to do, the next place to go, the next mini-emergency to tend to. Now, this is probably true for most of us moms, but some of you know how to turn it off. I don't. Case in point: My mom got the twins yesterday and took them to spend the night at her house. And I was thinking "Yes! I get a break! I can relax while the big kids are at school." And now it is 8:25am and I have been just as busy as I am when they are here... What the heck?? So, I think I may be addicted to the busy. Like I don't know what to do with myself if I am not meeting every urgent demand all day long. One of the exercises this guy (you know, the author of the Weird book) was asked to do by his counselor was to be still. For 5 minutes. Without doing anything. He couldn't do it. Neither could I. I don't mean wouldn't do it. Could. Not. Do. It.
In fact, this morning, while I sit in an empty house with nothing on my calendar until school gets out, my mind is racing with things to fill the hours. Hours that seem wasted if I am not "doing" something. But I am wondering if I shouldn't just make another cup of coffee and go outside and sit on the swing and read a book? (maybe not the Weird book, I don't need any more paradigm shifts today.) Maybe I'll try it. It will be "step 1" of my recovery process. Sit. Relax. Listen to birds sing.
Let's be Weird. Because normal isn't working. (book by Craig Groeschel, also author of The Christian Atheist.)